as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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