Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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