new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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