Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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