I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
