You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
