By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
