You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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