You're my little dorito
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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