"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
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