i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
