as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
