a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
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wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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