NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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