It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Randomize
