Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
