She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
