I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize