the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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