I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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