he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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