Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
