i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
