Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
