I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
