YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
