shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
