tell your sister to shave her snatch
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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