i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
