I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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