Nicole vs. Life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
