bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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