his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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