ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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