I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
