cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
