She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
