hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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