@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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