how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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