Its about making memories worth repressing
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
