im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
