Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
