I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The adults are the big ones right?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
