Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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