I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
