I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
