I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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