That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
