he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
