yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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