i can't believe i had my finger in that
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
and she was petting her beer can
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
