she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
