Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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