so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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