I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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