I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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