420 ftw
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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