i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I would ride that face into the sunset
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
