Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize