Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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