i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
