Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
