i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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