Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
