It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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