The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
