i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
