Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
