last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
