i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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