i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
