Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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