I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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