I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
