My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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