I'm going to jail i love you
Soap is not a condiment
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize