Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
